Appropriately filling any regular publication is never a breeze,
but special weeks, events or circumstances present their own challenges.
As an example, a weekly news magazine I shall not name - but
which you may identify with enough time (ahem) to think about
it - came out with a gem in a not-so-recent issue.
A two-page spread was titled "102 Minutes Worth Living", and beneath, preceded by 101 numbers and checking boxes, were listed such moments, as experienced or fancied by the author.
Obviously my life has been far from complete, as I could only tick off nine boxes with complete honesty.
In order of listing: I have hugged a koala bear, been measured for a bespoken suit, done nothing, seen the Aurora Borealis, planted a tree, attended my high school reunion, paid down the last dollar on a mortgage, helicoptered over the Grand Canyon, learned another language and kissed a complete stranger.
While that admittedly bespeaks a life hardly worth living, I have with some qualification, equivocation and evasion come reasonably close on some others.
I never took an award-winning photo, but with little experience, I flash-snapped political enemies Premier Tommy Douglas and Weyburn Mayor Jun Staveley turning on the natural gas in Weyburn in August of 1958. The photo was used a year or two later by Time Magazine.
I haven't gone whale-watching off the coast of Tofino, but I went whale-watching on a small ship in the harbor of St. John's, Newfoundland. Fog was so heavy and icebergs so menacing, no whales showed up. On another occasion, from Fortune (I think), Nfld., I sailed to the French island of St. Pierre, and if I had borrowed binoculars or had better eyesight, I would have seen a whale or two spotted by fellow-travellers.
Not being a golfer, I have never scored a hole in one, but once in my youth, while striking a ball on a very short hole, and unwitnessed, I almost (oh shucks, you wouldn't believe it anyway, so forget it).
I have never productively milked a cow, but once, when challenged, I won a goat-milking contest against Jim Laing of CFSL. I cozied up to both of the goats before the contest and got nothing but co-operation from the one I drew.
I haven't ridden a motorcycle in the sense of operating it, but after three hours trying to hitch a ride at Gananoque, Ont., in fall of 1947, I gratefully accepted a ride from a biker. I had to hold on to him with one arm while holding a small suitcase (like a sail) in the other. I gladly forfeit further experience.
Have I made a fire without matches? Not if you mean starting a fire by rubbing twigs or Boy Scouts together, but if you take a magnifying glass and hold it over dry grass with the sun focussed on it, you'll start a fire pretty fast, and yes I've done that.
As for driving across Canada, I have almost done so. But I've missed a tiny gap between Trois Rivieres, Que., and Fredericton, N.B., and possibly another few miles between Ottawa and Montreal. But I bet I've seen more of our country than almost any dude who has simply driven hell-bent across the breadth of Canada.
There are quite a few other moments denied me, and many I'll gladly do without. I have no desire to spend a night in an igloo I've made, or enjoy a daiquiri in Havana, Cuba. I never have nor plan to teach a child to ride a bike (although strangely enough all my kids learned that somehow), drink wine on the Spanish steps, join the Tomatina fight in Bunol or run with the bulls in Spain, bungee jump or a whole lot of other ridiculous things. And I sure haven't given a homeless person $100, nor have I met anyone who has.
And I am certain that when the year 2007 passes into history, most of the remaining "moments" will remain less than dreams.
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