How is your thinking? “That’s a strange question,” I hear you saying. Well I guess it is, however it is a question that warrants our attention. Our thinking patterns have a profound effect on how we feel and react to others in our relationships. Are they positive or negative thinking patterns? Our answer to that will affect our mood. I can attest to this in my own life.
When a person has low self esteem, negative thinking is prevalent. We imagine things that are not true, we make up scenarios in our mind that we are so sure people are thinking or saying about us that so often isn’t the case at all. Of course I’m not suggesting people never say things against us. That isn’t realistic thinking but more often it is all in our imagination. Then what happens? We ponder these thoughts and soon we are feeling bad because of what “has been said.” We can suffer so much needless heartache through this kind of thinking. If only we would realize we are our own worst enemies.
Have you ever spent needless miserable days because you were out walking and saw a friend, deep in conversation with someone else? You passed right by them, but they were so engrossed in their conversation that they never even saw you. Our reaction, “I wonder why she ignored me, what have I done to upset her. Maybe she’d rather not have anymore to do with me” and so on. We probably spent countless days feeling down in the dumps. I wonder why.
Some time later our friend phones us with a cherry “Hi, how are you doing, I haven’t heard from you in a while, is everything OK?” “Well I was fine until you ignored me the other day.” Not surprisingly, she seems startled by our reply and an interesting conversation ensues. The result is that we discover that it was all in our minds, if only we had realized it was our thinking that was at fault.
This is quite a common problem and if you see yourself in these scenarios, please get some help. There are some good books available on the subject of cognitive thinking. They will probably help you. I did have a good book myself but loaned it out and it hasn’t been returned. Unfortunately I can’t remember the title or the authors. I do remember that it was written by two psychologists. Also the cover was red, and the book was about two inches thick. Any good bookstore will be pleased to help you if you tell them what you are looking for.
Wrong thinking is often one of the causes of depression so hopefully this will help a little in this regard. Have a good week and try to think positively.